Monthly Archives: March 2010
In Honor of The People Vs. George Lucas
By Joe Oesterle March 24, 2010
10. If you have ever gained even more appreciation for the fighting skills of little-known Nautolan Jedi Master, Kit Fisto after snagging your tendrils on your own light saber while battling someone else at a “Star Wars Only” Halloween Party, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
Pete Vallee has made a huge career for himself in Las Vegas. Some would say Pete Vallee has an enormous amount of talent. Pete Vallee chuckles at the fact that he has tons of groupies, and that was an ample load of synonyms for the word “overweight” to set-up a story about Pete Vallee – the 600-pound Elvis impersonator.
Vallee has been performing his homage to Elvis twice daily, every Monday through Thursday at the Barbary Coast since 2002, and the standing room only crowds at each show are a testament to Vallee’s humongous appeal.
It was the 80’s so we can forgive our protagonist for acid wash jeans and white Reebok aerobic trainers, and while we still enjoy The Highlander, it’s not the flawless piece of movie-magic it may have seemed when originally viewed, most likely, on VHS. (The movie tanked at the box office in 1986.) As a matter of fact, it borders on sucking, but this is an enjoyable suck.
First of all, let’s address the obvious right off the bat. “There can be only one.” If this is so, (although 3 crappy sequels and a crappier TV series beg to differ) why didn’t Clancy “The Kurgan” Brown just chop off Connor MacLeod’s head in their very first battle on the shores of Loch Shiel in 1536?
Surely the Kurgan knew MacLeod was destined for immortality, or else he wouldn’t have made such a big deal to Clan Fraser that he, and only he, gets to face off against MacLeod. And don’t tell me he didn’t have time. The Kurgan took his sweet time waiting for a moment to strike, and when he did, he made NO attempt at the lethal head-removing kill-shot.
Now maybe this is explained in one of the crappy sequels, but that’s not the point. The Kurgan knows the rules. Chop off MacLeod’s head, and win “The Prize.” For some reason, The Kurgan stabs MacLeod in the body, and then leaves. There may not be an easier time to slice a guy’s head from his shoulders as when collapsed and bleeding out like an industrial sized garden hose. Jump on the opportunity Kurgan.