Joe Reviews “The Highlander” 24 years After the Fact

Highlander:

It was the 80’s so we can forgive our protagonist for acid wash jeans and white Reebok aerobic trainers, and while we still enjoy The Highlander, it’s not the flawless piece of movie-magic it may have seemed when originally viewed, most likely, on VHS. (The movie tanked at the box office in 1986.) As a matter of fact, it borders on sucking, but this is an enjoyable suck.

First of all, let’s address the obvious right off the bat. “There can be only one.” If this is so, (although 3 crappy sequels and a crappier TV series beg to differ) why didn’t Clancy “The Kurgan” Brown just chop off Connor MacLeod’s head in their very first battle on the shores of Loch Shiel in 1536?

Surely the Kurgan knew MacLeod was destined for immortality, or else he wouldn’t have made such a big deal to Clan Fraser that he, and only he, gets to face off against MacLeod. And don’t tell me he didn’t have time. The Kurgan took his sweet time waiting for a moment to strike, and when he did, he made NO attempt at the lethal head-removing kill-shot.

Now maybe this is explained in one of the crappy sequels, but that’s not the point. The Kurgan knows the rules. Chop off MacLeod’s head, and win “The Prize.” For some reason, The Kurgan stabs MacLeod in the body, and then leaves. There may not be an easier time to slice a guy’s head from his shoulders as when collapsed and bleeding out like an industrial sized garden hose. Jump on the opportunity Kurgan.

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